Cheating is one of the most common causes of break-ups between older couples and even new ones. What causes people to cheat? Is it in human nature, as in for men? Or is it boredom? Or is it just a lack of true love? The other night discussion revolved around what is cheating to how common it is here in Taiwan. One of the first questions we discussed was to define what ‘cheating’ means. Many seem to agree that cheating involves physical sexual activity that is kept secret. On the other hand, the question was raised whether cheating needed to have some element of emotion-- in other words feelings-- for the third party. According to some, sex with someone might not be considered cheating if there is no emotional attachment. However, according to others, even a lunch with a single available person is cheating. For ease of discussion, we stuck to the secret, physical definition of cheating.
We discussed the ways you can tell someone is cheating from the obvious- finding them with another person, to the less obvious, such as a scent on the clothes. Many websites are dedicated to helping women discover if their partner/spouse is cheating by listing many cheating ‘signs’. In addition, they provide ways to catch the cheating person. One of the big sites: womensavers.com even suggests that women set up their partners in order to catch them in a ‘trap’. We discussed the fact that by doing this, women would be pushing their partner farther away, and would destroy any hope of saving the relationship by these methods.
It seems that according to stories shared by the group that some women think that their cheating man will somehow stop cheating and change for them. This idea was quickly put down by counter-examples of men who cheated on their women over and over and over, never changing. Women who are too accommodating and too eager to please always become victims of cheating men, because the cheating man knows the woman will take this kind of abuse over and over and never leave them.
Cheating will continue to be a problem, but the fact that someone cheats is always a sign that there is something wrong in the relationship. Figuring out what that problem is, is the first step to saving that relationship.
We discussed the ways you can tell someone is cheating from the obvious- finding them with another person, to the less obvious, such as a scent on the clothes. Many websites are dedicated to helping women discover if their partner/spouse is cheating by listing many cheating ‘signs’. In addition, they provide ways to catch the cheating person. One of the big sites: womensavers.com even suggests that women set up their partners in order to catch them in a ‘trap’. We discussed the fact that by doing this, women would be pushing their partner farther away, and would destroy any hope of saving the relationship by these methods.
It seems that according to stories shared by the group that some women think that their cheating man will somehow stop cheating and change for them. This idea was quickly put down by counter-examples of men who cheated on their women over and over and over, never changing. Women who are too accommodating and too eager to please always become victims of cheating men, because the cheating man knows the woman will take this kind of abuse over and over and never leave them.
Cheating will continue to be a problem, but the fact that someone cheats is always a sign that there is something wrong in the relationship. Figuring out what that problem is, is the first step to saving that relationship.
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